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Bobosmum
Bobosmum aged 49
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Profile

3 words

Loyal , Sympathetic , Unbiased

Self description

Female , 49

I live in Bedfordshire with my husband and my dog. I like country walks, reading, cooking and spending time at our apartment in Spain.

During my childhood my parents were officers in charge at a children's home so I was brought up in a different environment to my friends. My experiences from this time left me with a deep routed aversion to conflict and to this day I find arguments very difficult to cope with.

In the past 5 years I have had to deal with one of my stepsons nearly dying from a rare heart condition, my husband having a heart attack, my Father being diagnosed with mixed dementia, my Mother being diagnosed with lung cancer and a personal diagnosis of a rare cancer. Despite all of this I have coped

Life experiences

Cancer

In March 2012 I was told that I had a large pelvic tumour which was suspected ovarian cancer. I went through 3 rounds of chemo followed by a full hysterectomy and removal of a 12lb tumour. I also had ascites which is a build up of fluid in the stomach cavity and needed to have between 8-12 ltrs drained every 2/3 weeks prior to my operation. I have now been given the all clear so within 6 months I have been through the whole range of feelings associated with going through cancer.

At the same time my Mother has been going through treatment for lung/liver cancer. She will never be cured but the doctors are making sure that her cancer is kept under control.

So I've got experience of cancer on both sides, personally and with a family member. I want to be able to help others who are going through cancer or who are dealing with it in someone they're close to.

Alzheimers/Dementia

My father was diagnosed with mixed dementia in 2007. I have watched him go from the wonderful man who brought me up to a shell of a man who doesn't even recognise himself in a photo. I have been there from his diagnosis through to having to help my Mum choose a care home for him so I can help anyone who's got a family member who's going through this awful disease. I've learnt a lot of tricks for communicating with my Father and getting the most out of the time that I spend with him. I hope I can pass some of my experience on to others or that someone can just talk to me about their feelings.

Anxiety

I suffer with anxiety and although it is an ongoing problem for me I am trying to deal with it. I want to use Horsesmouth to get help for myself to deal with my anxiety issues and I'd love to be able to pass on any coping techniques that I learn to other people that suffer from anxiety too. Even if it's just a chance to share similar experiences of Anxiety it helps to know that other people suffer with it as well.

Why mentor on horsesmouth?

I want to help others through my own experiences. I know that it is difficult to deal with issues when you don't know who to turn to. Often you want to speak to someone about your problems but it's not easy when you are close to someone to get objective or unbiased advice. If I can help just one person to feel better about themselves or to deal with a difficult situation then I will be happy. I have dealt all my life with anxiety and lack of self confidence and as I try to deal with my own issues I want to pass on my new found coping strategies to others.

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I am very lucky to have found your website. Recently I wrote about a problem which I face very often.... There were 10 responses from 10 mentors. They have really explained to me and made me understand that I do not have any problem. Your services are wonderful and I am very much thankful to all of you.

I have been mentoring on HM for 18 months. I really enjoy it & hopefully I am helping other people. Recently I posted my my first 'request for a mentor'. I have been completely bowled over by the response. So many people taking their time & making the effort to offer constructive advice in a friendly polite manner. For me it completely validates the intent behind HM. It reminds me how many good, helpful people there are out there. Thanks for providing such a great service.
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I just want to thank Horsesmouth and all the amazing people who reached out to me.  Each and every one of you has given me something to think about, and some have given me heaps of material with which to start working.  Now I need to do the work! Thank you so much!' 

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