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Mumselfemp aged 41
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3 words

Good listener , Insightful , Supportive

Self description

Female , 41

I graduated from University in 1998 with a 2:1 in Psychology. I had to get working straight away and unfortunately the good salaries pulled me away from my aim of becoming a psychotherapist. My career path went from recruitment, to operational management, to project management. Over the years, I have officially and unoffically mentored friends, family and colleagues and really enjoyed the fulfillment of this. I've seen that just life experience can give you so many tools to help others.
I am married with two children and have experienced the highs and lows that this brings.
After my first child I went back to work part time and did the same second time around. This was challenging for me personally and professionally. I had the privilage of being able to leave work for two years to be a stay at home mum before finances meant I needed to get back to work. Finding a role that fit with the needs I percieved my family to have was not possible so I set up my own business.

Life experiences

Babies - coping with them/preparing for them

Having children is a big step in a lot of peoples lives. This can be for a whole spectrum of reasons. The build up to giving birth can be a strain on emotions and relationships. As if adding insult to injury, when you have given birth, you as a parent are most vulnerable to tiredness, lack of confidence and expertise, and (if you are specifically the mum) you are physically drained. It is also such a crucial time for the babies and this compounds the negative feelings that can hit any parent at any time. Having been through two child births, I would love to be able to support parents through their own unique experiences.

Losing a best friend

My best friend and I had a relationship that spanned 15 years, good time and bad. Three years ago, the relationship crumbled and broke down and was easily the most devastating experience I had been through in my adult life. I grew enormously over this experience and now wouldnt have it any other way, but was truly shocked at how much it impacted my mental health and other relationships. Its a well documented fact that loss through death can be less dressful than loss through choice and accepting a loss and growing from it can be a big challenge and I feel I could help and support someone through this.

Working Part time/returning to work after children

After having children, you change. Your life certainly changes but most people find that their perspective and goals also change in varying degrees. This can be challenging when going back to work. It can be very stressful as the day approaches when you return and I feel I can be helpful to anyone in that position, having done it twice. When I returned to work, I did so part time and this has other challenges. The paranoia of how you are perceived, the conflict between your previous goals and your current goals if they have changed. Acknowledging that change and what it means for your future can be stressful, especially as your day doees not end when you finish work for the day or at the close of that las call at night. I feel this time in a parents career is critial to ensuring their happiness and this extends into their relationship happiness and I feel I could be useful to someone experiencing this challenge.

Why mentor on horsesmouth?

Friends and colleagues have naturally come to me to share or seek advice and I have never felt more at home that when these situations have arisen. I have often also found great comfort in sharing thoughts and challenges with people removed from the direct situation I have found myself in. We all have 'dark days', some darker than others and helping on those occasions or at least being there for someone is what I feel I am best at.

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