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Non-judgemental , Positive , Listener
I'm a fun loving person who loves helping others whenever i can! I am married to a wonderful man whom i have supported through drug misuse and a mental illness and he is now running his own business. I always look at the bright side of life no matter how dark times are.
I was an artist for 13yrs and was promoted to manager over the artist department for 2yrs but am now redundant. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE i can now find work to give back to the community , much more fulfilling don't ya think?!
I have no children of my own but a step daughter and 4 nieces whom i adore to pieces.
What makes me tick is ignorant people who judge people who are different to themself as a negative to society. I believe diversity in communities is enriching and rewarding.
I met my now husband through a friend of mine and learnt that he had a drug problem, that didn't put me off as i could see the good in him. We started a relationship that lasted 2 weeks as i was naive to what having a drug problem actually meant! Instead i supported him as a friend, taking him to NA meetings, talking to him to understand why he started, encouraging him to believe he is better than the person he thought he was and being there when he needed me. Making sure he had stability in his life and goals to achieve were a key factor to his recovery but the most important thing was to not be aware that he could use again but NOT to be angry, just to start again. Three years later he stopped using and we became partners again and 3yrs after that we got married in spain with 40 friends and family who supported us throughout.
Whilst supporting my husband through his drug misuse recovery, it became apparent that the reason he used drugs was to escape from a mental illness he has called Psychosis. Nobody in his life knew about the voices that he had in his head as he feared 'the men in white coats' would turn up! (his words not mine). He admitted his problem to me after i heard him having a conversation. I presumed he was on the phone as i could only hear his side of the conversation. When questioned about the chat as it was a very angry and confrontational one he had to admit he was with the voices in his head. He lived with it everyday but they were only whispers. However if he became stressed or worried they would become so loud that he couldn't function properly, they would take over his mind and body. This was the reason he would go missing to take drugs to knock himself out so he wouldn't hear them. We were referred to mental health clinic and he has been on medication since which has been a miracle!
I lost my dad when i was 17 yrs old. For 2yrs previous he was suffering with cancer. I was very close to my dad as my relationship with my mother didn't exist so losing him was like being left alone even though my mom and sister lived with me. My grief came out in different ways & as i look back now, its quite embarassing but i understand that it was a cry for help as i didn't have anyone to turn to at all. I think it took about 5yrs to be able to talk and laugh about times with him. Before then i would use his death to get attention, for example i remember bursting into tears just because a guy said that his star sign was cancer!! Oh dear, good job i can laugh about my behaviour now. My dad gave so much to our community, always doing volunteer work and helping others and i feel that i am following in his footsteps now and hope he is proud. I believe his death gave me the strength and attitude to help my husband through his troubles. Thanks dad!
I think that i have had valuable experience in life to help others come out of hard times like myself and see that life is good! My husband has given me confidence to support other people in the same situation and other situations where i feel i could give them positive outlooks on things that are troubling them. I have a knack of turning bad things into good things and encouraging people to do the same. I might only help one person but by doing that it has a domino effect on all the people around them so by helping one person would really mean i have probably changed 10 peoples lives who are in their family. This way of mentoring is a great way of keeping in touch with people out of the 9 to 5 work routine and i would be able to still have a full time job. Also its easier for shy people to interact behind a computer screen rather than face to face.
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